For the past 8 months, I have been a part time stay at home mom.
I love my role as a mom, but I never felt like enough. I never felt like I was “contributing” or doing enough.
My to-do list was a mile long, and I could never seem to get anything done. My sweet husband would come home, and the first thing I would say was… I didn’t get anything accomplished today. I’m sorry.
Gently, he would tell me. You took care of the baby, you did accomplish something. Instead of taking it to heart, I would just roll my eyes and shrug off what he just said as “being nice”. Like a bless her heart kind of comment. One of those comments you say to be nice and make the other person feel better. My husband doesn’t do that (he is very direct), but I chose to feel that way.
A couple weeks ago, I found this article about staying at home on Babble. The writer wrote this:
I realized, for the first time ever, that I didn’t have anything to prove. That I had been working so hard to work from home and always have it spotless and do all my educational activities with the kids because it was my job and I’d better darn do a good job of it if my husband had to work, that I never stopped to consider that my being home with our children could actually be a gift to my husband.
Actually, go read the entire article…. really.. I’ll wait.
Okay, powerful right? I felt like I had been putting way too much pressure on myself. It is a blessing that I get to say home all but 2 days a week with our sweet boy.
I know how difficult it is when something goes haywire with Luvy’s schedule on the days that I do work. It is stressful for both of us when we don’t have someone to keep him and we are scrambling to find someone. Or, on days Baby D is sick and needs to stay home. That either forces Luvy to work from home and rearrange his entire schedule, or I have to call in sick.
When I put it like that, I can see how it is a blessing and a gift to my husband for me to be home.
Instead of worrying about my to-do list and feeling inadequate, I have been focusing on Baby D being my priority. So what if we stay in our jammies and play all day? He is learning, he is social, he is vibrant, and he is a dang good eater!
Gone are the days when I feel like what I do at home doesn’t matter. It is shaping our sweet boy, it is honoring God by serving my family, and it is a blessing and gift to my husband that I take care of these things.
This article came at just the right time, because I was just talking to some of my closest friends about how I didn’t know if I was cut out for staying at home part time. I didn’t feel like what I was doing mattered.
Mom (or Dad), I want you to know that what you do matters! I don’t care if you are a full time stay at home mom, part time stay at home mom, or you work full time. What you do matters. How you raise and impact your child(ren) is the most important job and role you have.
When you feel like all you get done is changing dirty diapers, wiping up spit up, and feeding a baby, know that it matters.
Know that you are shaping that child into who they will become. It isn’t easy staying at home. In fact, I feel like I’m getting a break on the days that I do work. However, it is much more fulfilling to me to be at home now that I took the pressure off.
Now, I feel like I’m worth something at home. I’m needed. What I do matters.
Have you ever thought of staying at home is a luxury for your spouse?
Do you ever feel like you aren’t doing enough?